If Your Spouse’s Depression Returns
(How Spouses Need To React)
By Ryan Light, Running/Anxiety Coach
Spouse Not Dealing (Personally) With Depression
If your spouse’s depression returns? After depression has reached its fateful end, a couple more often than not faces a tremendous amount of overwhelming joy and happiness while experiencing the lighter side of their relationship after being trapped in the darkness of depression for so long. From a spouse that doesn’t struggle with depression, the aftermath of a bout of depression normally come with a struggle to comprehend how, a once intimate loving partner, could have succumbed to the silence, emotional detachment, rage and anger, along with the reluctance of touch and speech, not being able to talk about anything whatsoever one struggling with depression so often has. Coming out of such an experience and into the warm and the bubbly feeling of a loving relationship grants only such a level of happiness. Finally – life is restored! At least for a short while
Spouse Dealing (Personally) Depression
On a personal level, you being the victim of a depression, have a deep appreciation and comprehension of what it means to feel totally alive; being a hundred percent yourself once more. Such a feeling is euphoric, having to feel renewed and new energy surging within you. Additionally, you get your mind clear and thinking well, only to have the realization of how much love you have for your spouse. At that moment you only wonder how you could have become so driven by rage, and eventually grown distant with time. The only thing left to worry about is whether that feeling of depression has really faded away completely or not. It is a 50-50 chance really, and you may find out that the feeling might not have been done away with forever. As it is, people are not the same in the various existing aspects, and when it comes to depression, it isn’t at all different. For some, the feeling of depression might be a severe and prolonged period, but once they have recovered from it, they are done away with it for good. In most common cases, however, the feeling of being depressed can reignite itself and become chronic and never really fade away. As it were, excessive worrying or anxiety over future episodes re-emerging is easy, and this makes it all the more natural, more so in the initial stages of the turn-around. Nonetheless, such excessive anxiety and harboring that concern of the expected sense of doom in the near future continuously only hinders your recovery eventually in the long run.
Depression It’s A We Thing Not And I Thing Both Need To Be Aware
What happens if and when the bout of depression comes back? It is easy to rely on either optimism or pessimism, but the truth is, both of these scenarios are known to blind and can be excessive naturally. The right way to go is by being real and practical. Having this realistic vision gives you the edge of being ready in case a future episode recurs, more so if you have the enlightenment and empowerment on how to deal with such situations when they come back. As a couple, for example, the first thing that you need to do is remember that you have been through such an experience before, thus know of the necessary methods you need to employ in order to maneuver and steer clear of the situation. It is true that the past experience only has left you with the hurtful and distasteful events that transpired, which only makes you want to recoil from it all, but the fact is that you learnt something that you can now use once the episodes come back. You have the ability to handle any recurrence in the future. Acquiring this empowerment comes only with the team work of both partners, once they have agreed to assist one another in the particular matter. This is due to the fact that, in a relationship, the feeling of depression shouldn’t at all be considered as a solitary engagement, and with that, both of the partners need to play a part by applying knowledge. This calls for remembrance and awareness of the key signs of the illness from the previous bout(s). This awareness coupled with the ability to confide and feeling comfortable talking and expressing one’s views mark the key steps couples should take in order to avoid the relationship from being overwhelmed.
The initial signs can easily be overlooked, and one can feel as if the depression isn’t there at all, thus leading you to treat and live life as usual, but it doesn’t at all make the problems drift away or any less severe. It is easy to mistake signs such as, minimal negative thinking, anxiety due to social contact, lack of proper sleeping habits, and a minor detachment from general things, and take them lightly, but research has proven that such indicators however small, are ideal indicators and predictors of the condition resurfacing soon. After you have snuffed out all those predictors, it is advisable to remain vigilant in the available active treatment until such a case where all those symptoms have submerged. Getting back to your usual 100% self is easier when working with your partner on the perfect recovery treatments that are also practical.
Partnership It’s Not a 50/50 Deal It’s a 100% From Both Sides
Julie Fast, the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, mentions that a close partnership between couples goes a long way in making the recovery treatment and overall approach more effective. No more effective than it is on unipolar depression. She goes ahead to advice that having a well written-down plan, i.e. a Wellness Action Recovery Plan (WRAP) as she calls it, on what actions to take, on the onset of the depression is also key. Her approach as much as her WRAP tool gives all partners the power to actively manage depression. Besides the depressed partner making the initial commitment to undertake the entire treatment available, a supportive partner now can assist by offering a sustained recovery.
Use Skills To Empower
Empowerment is also done by attaining skills that relate to depression, and using them accordingly even after the recovery period is over. In short, you get to live the type of life you wish.
The particular skills can include:
- The strategies to cognitive therapy
- The skill that emphasizes on sustaining an active nature instead of ruminating
- Leading a healthy lifestyle with proper sleeping habits and periodic exercising
- Stress management
- Anger management and healthy communication in a relationship
- Sustaining mindful behavior patterns, etc.
This solely depends on the issues and problems you have encountered before, and all the favorable ways you have put into use to counter those problems. Finally, maintenance of these particular skill sets readily builds a resilient spirit if at all depression creeps in again.
Call To Action – How to you deal with your depression? Or how do you help your spouse deal with theirs? Comment Below
Looking for an anxiety coach? Please reach out to contact me as I’ve helped dozens of people beat their anxiety and get back to living life.